Things I Love

1

Since it’s Valentine’s Day, I figured I’d write a list of all the things I love in this world. You can feel free to add to it if you want, but it’s going to be pretty thorough so you may not need to. Here goes:
“Things I love by Yellow #5”

  1. Horse racing.
  2. Harness Racing.
  3. Dog racing (but not at the track, too bleak even for me, more like The Weiner Dog Grand Nationals in OC.)
  4. The animatronic band at Chucky Cheeses (especially at the end when the animatronics were glitching and dangerous)
  5. How coach Smith is always in the background of every basketball photo with a tiny flex. Dude gets it. Funny every time.
  6. Original LaRosas pizza (but not that one bs tiny piece that used to end up in the box. Do they still cut it that way?)
  7. In Iron Eagle when they blow up a MiG, and wood goes flying across the sky. It’s like Jesus, that thing is supposed to bea state-of-the-art plane, not The Spruce Goose.
  8. Debating with my friend about what exactly it is “Hall and Oats can’t go for” when they sing “I can’t go for that”
  9. Finding golf balls with inappropriate logos on them.
  10. Messing with my friend when he loses his ball and we’re playing with two strangers and I find it and yell “I found it! Titelist 4 with a Ciallis logo?”
  11. HawkTalk. Always interesting and fun.
  12. Watching people picking up dog shit wearing fancy clothes.
  13. People running in non-running attire, ie, watching someone in a suit sprint to their gate at the airport.
  14. The idea of starting a company whereby others would pay me to name their fantasy sports team.
  15. Old ads from the 80’s that used the phrase “rich Corinthian leather” to describe the interior of a piece of shit car.
  16. Scammers who text using a personal email as a place for me to send bridge tolls I’ve forgotten to pay.
  17. The Original script for Alf. (Not the final show, the original script where Alf is very dark and evil which was the basis of permanent midnight. It’s way funnier.)
  18. The poem of corporate ineptitude. (You know, when some major corporation royally screws up and then has a spokesperson address the press and their speech always say “mistakes were made. There will be a fact finding investigation. We’re all hurting. There will be consequences. No stone will be left unturned.”
  19. Trade show chotchkies (and convention culture which I would love to write a book about.)
  20. When inanimate objects try to give me life advice ie: a urinal may says: “swisher sanitation reminds you to say no to drugs” or when a reciept tells me to “have a nice day”.
6 Likes
2

Great list!

I’ll add: Seeing Chuck Martin sitting courtside in the recliner watching a Tuesday night Miami basketball game in his PJs.

4 Likes
3

Once saw a team name on ESPNs site called “Gronk Banged Your Sister.” Was that you?

Back to lurking.

1 Like
4

He looked like The dude in The Big Lebowski. It was glorious.

5

Sadly no. That is great btw.

6

#10 :fire: :fire: :fire:

I’ll add the CBS score bug jingle during NCAA basketball tournament games.

1 Like
7

It gets laughs every time.
“Taylor made 11 with a logo that says “VIP Showgirl Escorts”

Every single time.

1 Like
8

Someone of my age may remember a time when Iron Eagle was on HBO almost every day of the week. And you pretty much had to stop what you were doing to watch the last half hour. :joy:

1 Like
9

That and Ladybugs starring Rodney Dangerfield as an inept soccer coach. Probably one of the few unfunny films he ever made.

10

When Warden throws the pebble through the poster, realizes he’s been duped and the :poop: hits the fan. Watch it every time it’s on.

1 Like
11

And he says “what are you lookin’ at fuzzy britches…”

I might have butchered that but it’s a funny piece of dialogue.

12

“Not tomorrow… not after breakfast… NOW!”

1 Like